Wednesday, January 30, 2013

FYI: Keeping Track

I could be snowbound today if I let myself. It's nothing but white around here, and though we're used to going about our business in the sloppiness, it feels like a good day to stay in.

It's funny how our bodies remember things we haven't yet acknowledged. My bad dream last night, my (more than usual) agitation trying to form pigtails out of tangles in time to get out the door, some unformed expression caught in my throat. "Oh, that's right...." And then I remember.

There are the good dates we keep track of: our first date, our marriage, our first daughter's birth, and the second and the third. And there are the other kinds of anniversaries--the bad news. I was wondering how much dates matter when we are not on this earth. Does my mother celebrate her birthday still? Does she think, "I would be 64 this year." Do the others we have lost wonder how we'll acknowledge the day they left? Hope we are thinking of them? Or are they too busy where they are working in some way, and catching up with each other?

I am not good with math, I prefer intuition, but I am fascinated by the numbers: 40 days and nights; 40 years in the wilderness; 40 weeks of pregnancy; 7 of this and that; 12....  The dates on our calendar that gain significance because the big events keep landing on them. The numbers must mean something. It all seems so precise.

I believe God cares very much about the date we arrive and the date we leave this earth because those dates determine our time here with a certain group of people. Time to love and teach and be loved and taught and form families of one kind and another. Limited time. So I am keeping track today of the time that has passed since we lost some of those we love, and acknowledging every day we are blessed to have so many we love right here and now.

My "FYI" posts share news or a perspective about something that's been on my mind. You can read them all here.


SuzyMcQ said...

Aneliese, I just left a comment on your previous post and, actually seldom comment, much less two in a row, but i must write to say that your post today was very spiritual, but not religious. I enjoy that about your reflections, because I am not a Christian, I can still relate on a very deep level to your thoughts and feelings. It is inclusive, not exclusive and I guess I am writing to say that I really appreciate that, your sensitivity as well as your ability to be a touchstone. Thank you.

Meredith said...

Very lovely and thought provoking post today. I too think these dates are very important, the date of a death is as important as a date of a birth.
Hugs to you,

kristin said...

I'm so sorry you lost your mom so young. Take care, and be gentle with yourself.

Doris said...

I feel the same way about dates, you put it so eloquently. My Dad died 15 years ago last Friday. It was Superbowl Sunday that year. It's not easy to forget the date every year with a big reminder like that. And incidentally, my Dad was crazy for dates. So remembering is all the more special, I guess.

tamz said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Anneliese. You write so beautifully.

Bari Jo said...

You always share your thoughts so beautifully. Thank you. I agree that dates are important and give us reminders that we can look back on with thankful hearts for the time we were blessed with and gentle reminders not to take those precious relationships for granted that are still here with us now.

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