Wednesday, January 23, 2013

FYI: The Grass is Green

Scarlett, with paint-stained hands, in a Skinny Scarf
 
The other morning I went to drop off Scarlett at her preschool and noticed a young mother dropping off her daughter at the same time. On a snow day she was wearing heels and hose, a great coat, and accessories. Her hair was blown straight and she had on full makeup. Clearly she wasn't schlepping between a gradeschool carpool and a pre-shower workout. She was on her way to work.
 
I slid some tinted lipbalm over my lips and adjusted my ponytail and thought for a minute that I would likely feel better about myself if I were all made up and on my way to an office. Then I remembered when I was similar to that woman and would drop off my oldest at preschool on my way to the office. At that time I looked more than a bit enviously at the mothers in jeans and flipflops or workout clothes and thought I would likely feel better about myself if I were home full time and squeezing in a workout or a few errands during the preschool hours.
 
 
So I am trying to remind myself that the grass is pretty green right here, in this stage I'm in right now. I feel I am running a marathon of picking up after a suddenly full house (what happened!?) and it still doesn't look picked up. I seem to be falling further from my expectations when it comes to completing creative projects. There are always things I could be doing better as a mother and a neighbor. And maybe it will be a bit easier in a few years, when I'm out of the little kid stage. But then I'm sure there will be something else. And I'll miss the little kids.
 
I really like the advice "if everyone were to throw her problems out into the street for a swap you would look at all the others' and run as fast as you could to collect yours again."  We each have our own blessing, opportunities, challenges, and sorrows. I am trying to enjoy those that are mine. It's so tempting to exhale through the day and think about what things might be like... But I am trying not to. Because with a little perspective on today I will likely realize the grass was greener. That's what does it, isn't it? A bit of perspective.
 
 
Hope you are enjoying yours.


My "FYI" posts share news or a perspective about something that's been on my mind. You can read them all here.


14 comments:

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

I always have to remind myself that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. God always has me exactly where I'm supposed to be, even tho sometimes I wonder why....

Laura J. said...

I love this post. Thank you so much for the reminder!

kristin said...

Aw great post. Though as a mom with an office job that has to dress up every day, you are so right that I wish I was at home playing with my 2 year old/sewing/working out/running errands every single day as I sit down at my desk. Maybe someday. :)

Cate said...

Great post! Having traded in my career job just over a year ago to stay home with my two little ones, I can relate quite well to your sentiments. I still struggle with remembering that this is my "job" now, and to stop that feeling that there must be 5 gazillion things I'm supposed to be doing. Somedays it hits me -- "wait a second, THIS is what I get to do today?! Play and hug and tickle my little ones! How lucky am I!!" and then I remember to stop fretting about all the stuff I'm not getting to. Other days I fall into that unhelpful mode of beating myself up for not accomplishing enough. Thankfully I have a very supportive husband who truly believes that raising children is a full-time job and we share the same child-rearing philosophies. From what I read, it sounds like your husband is equally supportive. Lucky us! What green, green grass we have. :)

Brandyn said...

Love It ~ THANKS! (0:

Brianna Asaro Photography said...

Oh dear - this whole debate over a woman's worth whether she's a stay at home mom or a working mom drives me nuts. I work. But that's for ME. I need it to survive intellectually. But that in NO way makes me better. I think we always tend to lean towards one side or another on these sorts of issues. Happiness isn't a simple equation. The grass is almost always greener on the other side. Till you get to that side, of course. Then you're wishing with all your might you could change your mind. I think we should not compare ourselves to others. I have unparalleled respect for people different than me, because I never know how they do it. At the same time though, of course every once in a blue moon I get a tinge of envy... but that's normal. It's what keeps us grounded.

Michelle B. said...

Thank you for the reminder. Living in the moment and appreciating it is often trickier than it seems it should be:)

Lisa Crockett said...

This was so great. I just the other day heard something that really resonated with me on this topic: If you live in the past, you're depressed. If you live in the future, you're anxious. If you live in the present, you're happy.

Hugs and thanks for the reminder.

kirstin @ kojodesigns said...

What a great reminder, Anneliese. I am trying to train my heart in the practice of contentment- trying to get good at looking at my right now and thinking about all of the things that are going right, all of the things that I have, all of the mercies that I don't deserve, but have received anyway.
It is not the easiest practice in the world, but worth the effort I think.
Thanks for the reminder of the green green grass that is my life right now. :)

Mike and Mackenzie Day said...

I can so relate to this... Thanks for posting:)

Anneliese said...

Love all the comments on this post. Thank you for your perspectives on maintaining perspective and being grateful for what we have. XOXO

joylovelyjoy said...

I've been having these same "grass is greener" thoughts lately. It's comforting to know I'm not alone, but I also really needed to get a little perspective and hear that I'm right where I need to be -- where I'm meant to be. Thank you.

mksharingthelove said...

Amen: To be honest I've never known how you got so much done anyway :)

I've done a bit of priority rearranging lately after 6 months of craziness. Sometimes less is more.

I was watching my 3 girls dancing together just a moment ago and thought, how lucky to be able to witness such a wonderful time.

Life is chaos but it's beautfiul too. Here's to finding a little balance somewhere along the line.

Anita said...

I envied the stay at home moms at my daughters preschool and when I had an unexpected summer to find another job I had the time to talk to those stay at homers and realized they had almost all carved out work from home situations for themselves. That's when I realized there is that possibility and now I Wfh 1 day a week and 1 week a month. So sometimes we think ourselves into either/or places when there is flexibility in between to be found. There are still days I don't feel balance but most days I do. And, yes, definitely easier as they grow more independent!

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